yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
