is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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