How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
