You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
