Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
