She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
