I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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