i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
