I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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