I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
