...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
There's even glitter on my cock...
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