i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
