You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i out mim tonsoeep
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
