I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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