I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
