I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
That's how pantless uber rides happen
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
