Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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