sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Is it because I queefed?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
