then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
