i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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