Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
