Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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