I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
