If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
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