This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
