Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
