I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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