physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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