hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
