Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
