I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
