I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
