Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
