So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
try to milk me bitch
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