thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize