If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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