I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
