For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
