Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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