Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
