She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
