Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
