quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize