is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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