We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize