Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
