I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I don't think brook has ever known best
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
