oh god the rape fog is back!
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
