Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc

(1-201): View more from New Jersey

damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy

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(862): View more from New Jersey

i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.

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(419): View more from Ohio

dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"

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(304): View more from West Virginia

My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.

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(410): View more from Maryland

She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.

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(425): View more from Washington

It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.

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(530): View more from California

I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.

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