the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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